A heart longing to serve, even in the busiest season
For those of you who don’t know me, lets start with an introduction. My name is Allison. I am a Christian, a wife, and a mother. And in a former life, I was a practicing Chiropractor. While I still hold the degree and the license, practice seems like a lifetime ago. But in all actuality, less than a year has passed since I stepped back to stay home with my girls. Don’t worry though, you didn’t accidentally click on another health blog. In fact, you won’t find any medical advice on this site at all.
This story is about something even more important to me than health.
Lets back up what brought me to where I am now. Seven years ago I met my husband. At the time, I owned a thriving Chiropractic office and thought that I had settled down forever.
Hah, “when men make plans…”
It was then, that I started down a different journey. I, of course, continued to practice as a Chiropractor; as serving others truly does fill my heart. But everything else in my life was about to change; as I had met, and almost immediately fallen in love with, a military man. Dun dun dunnn…
Fast forward to the present, I have now been married to said man for 5 years, with two amazing daughters (ages 1 and 3), and we have moved 3 times since getting married!! Yes, you read that right, 3 times…in 5 years!! While my heart is full being a wife and a mother, the frequent relocating has made it very hard to continue my professional career at the same pace. After all, it takes a long time to open a new practice and by the time it would be thriving, we’d likely have to move again. For that matter, it takes a long time to find the right person to watch our children, for me to even be able to go to work! And sure, I could practice on the side for someone else (and I have) but I also wanted to be available for family time when my husband was off, and more often than not, that is not an option in my profession. Alas, I was at an impasse. One that quite a few of you have been at before me.
Was it time to just make the jump to being a full time stay at home mom?
A stay at home mom, ahh…I’ve envisioned this… I had always pictured how rested I would feel…
and how I’d be able to fit in daily workouts, healthy family meal planning and prepping, and devotionals every day all while my kids were playing quietly with each other and teaching each other their shapes and letters. Haha… Obviously, I knew it would be more involved than that, but I certainly wasn’t prepared for the whole reality of it. After all, when I was practicing, I regularly treated a whole barrage of women who would come in with multiple children, during the middle of the work day and they always appeared to have it ALL TOGETHER. How I would love to go back to that time and pick all of their brains.
Perhaps, it is just me who feels like she is living in the midst of everliving chaos, but I don’t think that it is. I think we all are. And I think that we all like to pretend that its just not there. But, what good does that really do for any of us? I needed to get past my expectation of what life “should” look like as a stay at home mom and face the reality of it. I needed to learn how to not just tolerate the mess, but actually Love the mess and embrace the whole journey. Trust me I’m still a work in progress there, but I’m facing it head on.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE being a wife and a mother, but I simply can’t control everything about it like I could with my career. And on top of that, I was used to helping lots of people every day and now most days I feel like I don’t get to help anyone. Now, I know that what I just said is not true and trust me, I know how invaluable it is to change all of the diapers throughout the day and to constantly remind my children how to settle their disputes respectfully (for the hundredth time) but it does not give the same satisfaction that helping other adults did.
There. I said it. I said the part we all thought, but dare not say aloud.
But you know what, if I don’t face it, how am I ever going to fix it.
For any of you with kids, I have to believe you know exactly what I am talking about. Children are such an incredible blessing, but they make my previous full time work look like a cake walk! And, on top of that, they’re not even old enough to show their gratitude. I am sure this is coming though….sometimes I just sit and envision how the pre teen and teen years will be just full of warm fuzzies as my children will surely be perfect and grateful and loving at all time….hah, just kidding, but wouldn’t it be nice if you knew it would all get easier in a few years. I felt like my stay at home mom journey was just missing something. I thrive off of serving others, but with two toddlers and a busy spouse it seemed hard to help or impact anyone but those immediately in my house.
I am writing this today because I know that I am not alone in this feeling. And more importantly, neither are you.
You. Are. Not. Alone.
Sure, this season is hard. The next one will be hard too. But, have hope, I am here today to show
how I found joy in the midst of the hustle and bustle.
In future articles, we will talk about all sorts of ways to love others and serve others during even this, most busy season. It is true that you will see a lot of beautiful homemade, home cooked, and handcrafted things on this site, but if you read the articles you’ll hear about all of the beautiful mess ups and failures that proceeded it. This is about finding joy in the process and in the midst of the tough seasons. I like to call it, “Embracing the Chaos”. And I promise to never stop sharing the messy journey side of the story with you. So get ready to roll up your sleeves with me, spread the love, and embrace the chaos.